Moving on up...

I never thought I'd say this, but I am abandoning Xanga for a WordPress.

I am probably going to burn for this... but it's kinda spiffy is the thing.

on gossip

Oh right, so I'm back in the United States.  Sweet action. I thought I'd kiss the ground when I stepped off the plane.  It's not that I hated where I was.  (OK, maybe I did for a while.)  It's just that I love where I am.

I have, however, been thinking about one area of life in which I prefer East Asia over the US: views of Christianity.  Sure, in East Asia most people don't know what it means to truly follow Jesus, and a lot of them have misconceptions of the church.  But I'm convinced the situation isn't much better (if not worse) in the US.  The word "Christian" comes along with a bunch of other labels and baggage--political, moral, lifestyle, and otherwise.  I once heard someone wise talk about how in America we seem to be inocculated to Christianity: get a little bit of it when we're kids and think that's enough to hold us over, when really what it does is desensitize us to the words of Jesus and our need for the Lord.  It was so refreshing this summer to start spiritual conversations with students and share the gospel and not have to deal with what this guy's mom's Christianity looks like or the bad theology so and so got from a wacked out church.  Don't get me wrong; I'm generalizing here and I know that (sorry honey).  I guess maybe what I'm really tired of is the Christian subculture (complete with "Witness Wear," bumper stickers, and other failed attempts to engage the culture at large) and the bland view of walking with the Lord that it represents to me.  I'm sick of seeing Jesus--the author of life and commander of the winds and seas--put into a box of comfortable American Sunday spirituality (or on the flipside used to condemn people who don't know him).

Huh. That was a random tangent.  Well, I'll try to compose a post at some point about what actually went down this summer.  Suffice it to say that it was a very difficult summer for me--and I'm so grateful for it. 

"Through [Christ] we have also obtained access by faith inhto this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God." (Romans 5:2)

oh...and I think Java Co might be my favorite place ever.

then the sun came out

Wow. I don't feel like I have too terribly much to say, but I think I'm in a really good place right now and I didn't want to leave the xangaworld thinking I was still miserable :) Yesterday was really hard; I didn't feel well, a lot of things were disorganized, I was trying to get some support stuff, and I hadn't taken my medicine in a while (lost it -- oops), and I was painfully aware that my resolve to seek the Lord and resist sin was next to nothing...all of which culminated in me having somewhat of a nervous breakdown on the couch. But it was good. I think the Lord really used those circumstances to break me and to bring me to a beautiful place. I had some time in the Word before Will took me out on a date, and those two things were sorely needed :) At the end of the evening, I felt so much peace and rest. That continues to now. I feel joyful, excited about East Asia again, thankful that so much support has come in (and that I was able to get it sent off finally), and ready to spend some time with the One who in his infinite power walks us through valleys and brings the sun back out.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more...to him be the glory!

does life suck or do i suck at life?

i'm pretty sure it's the second one. my attitude needs an overhaul--like, asap. i feel frustrated, defeated, and foolish. especially foolish, because "the fear of the lord is the beginning of wisdom" (psalm 111:10, proverbs 1:7, proverbs 9:10) -- and i feel like i'm not fearing, worshiping, or walking with the lord at all. in 8 days i'll be meeting up with a big team of believers and going overseas to share the gospel, and my focus is anything but kingdom-centered these days.

i want to seek wisdom. or do i want to want to seek wisdom? even my motives in that are questionable.